Parenting a child with anxiety or OCD can feel like a relentless, all-consuming job. When your child is struggling, every ounce of your energy goes into supporting them. But what about you? Host Natasha Daniels makes a powerful case for a radical idea: you must actively find pockets of joy, even in the darkest times.
She explains that many parents feel a deep sense of guilt about this. 'How can I be happy when my child is miserable?' It feels like a betrayal. However, this is a flawed perspective. Here’s why prioritising your own moments of peace and joy is critical:
1. **You Can't Pour from an Empty Cup:** This isn't just a cliché. If your emotional and physical reserves are completely depleted, you won't be able to show up as the calm, regulated parent your child needs. Your own stress will only amplify their anxiety.
2. **It Models Healthy Coping:** By taking time for yourself, you're showing your child that it's possible to experience difficult emotions without being completely consumed by them. You're demonstrating that life can hold both struggle and joy simultaneously.
3. **It's a Marathon, Not a Sprint:** Raising a child with these challenges is a long journey. If you don't build in moments for recharging and pleasure, you will burn out. Finding joy is not a luxury; it's a long-term survival strategy.
What does this look like in practice? It doesn't mean ignoring your child or jetting off on holiday. It means finding small, sustainable moments of joy in your day:
* That first cup of coffee in the quiet of the morning.
* Listening to an audiobook while doing chores.
* Stepping outside for five minutes of fresh air.
* Lighting a candle with a scent you love.
It's about giving yourself permission to have these moments without guilt, knowing that in doing so, you're becoming a more resilient and effective parent.
She explains that many parents feel a deep sense of guilt about this. 'How can I be happy when my child is miserable?' It feels like a betrayal. However, this is a flawed perspective. Here’s why prioritising your own moments of peace and joy is critical:
1. **You Can't Pour from an Empty Cup:** This isn't just a cliché. If your emotional and physical reserves are completely depleted, you won't be able to show up as the calm, regulated parent your child needs. Your own stress will only amplify their anxiety.
2. **It Models Healthy Coping:** By taking time for yourself, you're showing your child that it's possible to experience difficult emotions without being completely consumed by them. You're demonstrating that life can hold both struggle and joy simultaneously.
3. **It's a Marathon, Not a Sprint:** Raising a child with these challenges is a long journey. If you don't build in moments for recharging and pleasure, you will burn out. Finding joy is not a luxury; it's a long-term survival strategy.
What does this look like in practice? It doesn't mean ignoring your child or jetting off on holiday. It means finding small, sustainable moments of joy in your day:
* That first cup of coffee in the quiet of the morning.
* Listening to an audiobook while doing chores.
* Stepping outside for five minutes of fresh air.
* Lighting a candle with a scent you love.
It's about giving yourself permission to have these moments without guilt, knowing that in doing so, you're becoming a more resilient and effective parent.
You can be present without being in panic. And that is really the message for today, is that when you are in panic with your child, or when you don't seek out the joy or the laughter or those moments of peace, you are actually not going to be able to show up effectively for your child anyway.
Dad Action Plan:
- Identify three small, simple things that bring you a moment of joy or peace.
- Schedule one of these 'joy pockets' into your day, even if it's just for five minutes.
- When guilt arises, remind yourself that recharging makes you a better parent.
- Communicate to your partner or support system that you need these moments to be effective.
Source
Podcast: AT Parenting Survival | Raising Kids with OCD & Anxiety
Episode: How to Reclaim Moments of Peace While Parenting a Child with OCD and Anxiety
Host: Natasha Daniels
Timestamp: 00:09:00